What I Have Lost

Restless nights with a stream of the past

A silenced recalling of what I’ve done

What I’ve lost, and what I’ve gain

With conclusions of what if I didn’t cause the pain

Injecting drugs called illusion

I end up hallucinated with passion

Your beauty, your heart, your smile

A circulating blood longing for its vine

Your eyes that looked like rubies

An awkward feeling lingering the moment

“I don’t deserve you”, is what I uttered

But I enjoyed that heartbreaking reality

It brightened up the night like daylight

Singing destructive thoughts in my mind

But I ended up tongue-tied, speechless

Reality kicks in and again I was restless

What I have lost? What have I done?

What did I gain? Was it even fun?

With the pressure I felt, I reckoned I was glad

But with what I have lost, I won’t deny that I’m sad